Festival de Cannes is Hiring: Professional Standing Ovation Timer
by Tejas Nair
Last week (May 2017) at our prestigious Cannes Film Festival, Adam Sandler’s new film The Meyerowitz Stories received critical acclaim from both the jury and the audience. The director of the film likes to think the praise was for the whole film, but it was Sandler’s performance which was met with a four-minute standing ovation at the end, making film enthusiasts around the world spiral into a state of delirium.
This job posting is a direct consequence of that event. It is because of an error in calculating the period of that ovation. It was three minutes and fifty seconds, to be exact, and Dave got it wrong. (Dave was an intern from PricewaterhouseCoopers, the same folks responsible for the Oscars Best Picture snafu earlier this year. But, we the French don’t care about those Americans trying to make their country great again.) He will not be with us in 2018, and that’s for sure.
Job Overview – Professional Standing Ovation Timer
If you have always been interested in knowing who times standing ovations at our screenings and how, then this is the job for you. One of the most coveted jobs in the planet and one that does not require much skills, the responsibilities of a standing ovation timer are limited. (And still Dave screwed it up.) Consider it as an entry pass into one of the most important and widely publicised film festivals in the world where you can ogle at celebrities endorsing designers and designers endorsing themselves. If you are someone who prefers a wristwatch over a smartphone to keep track of time and know how many seconds constitute a minute, then you are already half-eligible for this job.
Do a better job than Dave. Do a better job than our former graphic designer who retouched the picture of Claudia Cardinale for our 2017 promo poster so she looked thinner. Do better than Adam Sandler does in most of his films. And you will be hired.
- Must have at least a Bachelor’s degree in Mathematics or related majors
- Must have answered all CAPTCHA math answers correctly in the first try itself in his/her lifetime
- Must be a native of France (Cannes a plus)
- Past experience in ovation timing is a plus, and candidates who have worked with the Academy (AMPAS) will be preferred
- Interest in films would be a plus, but is not necessary. (Due to limited seats, you may have to stand during the screenings, but you cannot count yourself as one of the audience while tracking standing ovation time)
- Keep track of film schedules and be present during the allotted film screenings from start to end
- Accurate standing ovation time tracking based on audience response. At least 10 people have to engage in applauding when you can start and stop the timer. (More details will be given to the selected candidate)
- Liaise with the press coordinators and brief them about the type of audience response (elated, dull, etc.)
- Understand who and what the standing ovation is for
- Declare the exact standing ovation time to the press so that it appears on publications before the critics can even publish the reviews
- Cross-check the tracked time with CCTV footage
- Create reports based on the tracked time and associated categories (Palme d’Or, Grand Prix, etc.)
- Competitive one-time-project package with full access to the festival events
- Gift hamper and Festival de Cannes merchandise
- Free lifetime passes for two for Palme d’Or film screenings
- Resume building experiences where you can get associated with films and actors
- A mention on our Wikipedia page
- A chance to watch films from around the world (Blue is the Warmest Color was watched by two of our former standing ovation timers who brought in their spouses with them.)
We are looking for a dynamic team player who is the creme de la creme of professional standing ovation timers. Come and be a part of Festival de Cannes 2018 and help us understand the importance and accuracy of standing ovations. Help us create experiences so that our films achieve creative and box office success.
To apply, visit our website (http://www.festival-cannes.com/en/contact) and fill the form. Please do not attach a CV, but instead describe why we should hire you. Also mention your favorite Palme d’Or winner. Since this job has to do with tracking time, should you receive a reply from us about your application, your next step would be to calculate the exact time it took for us to reply from the moment you submitted your application. Good luck!