I Once Asked A Girl Out To A Temple Who Was…

…menstruating. And she agreed.

[Note to readers: The following post can be offensive, blasphemous & unorthodox at the same time.]

And it was the time when every other friend of yours refrains from non-vegan food due to one of the imminent festivals related to God. I remember, Ganesh Chaturthi was on its way and the girl in question was helplessly furious. She was to attend pujas at her friends’ places the coming week.

People who had invited me for their pujas felt my presence in their respective places, but the girl in question could neither go to her friends’ places nor invite them over. The reason for the latter being something like this: if I visit your place and since you’re on your periods, it will render me impure and I may not be eligible to be anywhere near my house, let alone attend the pujas. The “may” used in the previous sentence can be replaced with “will” or “would” according to the foolhardiness intended and/or involved. So there she was, approximately ten meters away from all the shining, colorful pictures of Gods & Goddesses at her home, watching a Television series produced in a state of a country where menstrual cycle only purportedly affected one’s sex life.

She wasn’t a girlfriend. She wasn’t anybody’s girlfriend, so when I called her up to ask her out for a nearby temple, she did not refuse. It is not true that I wanted to visit the temple to pray, but the following activity was just to thwart some beliefs. A temple wouldn’t prove the point, so I took her to a friend’s place who, knows that I would never have a girlfriend &  doesn’t know that the girl who was accompanying me was menstruating.

So, what’s the point? That, if it was the omnipresence that gave us men the Adam’s apple, then he, to be modestly equal, gave women the menstruation cycleNow, you should understand that I believe God exists, so that’s that. The point is that if He gave women the most-irritating thing, which also is an advertiser’s nightmare, then He sure should accept the fact. Why would He prevent them from visiting Him? Isn’t He being a mountebank? And by the way, what impurities does it bring, if at all? It is not a human doing, the cycle, is it?
(Note:
 There may be numerous mythological testimonies proving why what’s what, but do I write like I care?)

There is one more belief that girls who are menstruating prefer to be left alone. Well, according to my experience, that’s terribly wrong and women need someone to talk to during “those” days. Of course, they are the boss, at least during “those” days.
(Note: An article on “What if men could menstruate?” coming up!)

And, the family of the friend who doesn’t know, welcomed us with smiling faces. I prayed standing beside the so-called impurity-causing material & imagined the impure frequencies swaying away from her towards the idol. It reminded me of many a principles in engineering and started solving problems on account of why there were ripples in my output frequency response. The idol was smiling at us gleefully as if it had no issues with us. And it looked like the smile magnified when the girl opened her eyes. Damn, before I could figure out the positive discrepancy in the response, pedas & sweet appetizers came my way and we both were directed to sit. She was cautious while sitting while I asked my friend where his sister was. “She is not well, she’s in the other room!” he replied & I got an inkling of what might be the cause. She was on her periods, too. Whoa! And I still remember the face on his mother’s face. I still don’t know whether it was due to the hidden cause or was she suspecting me of eyeing her daughter to make her fall in love with me. I will never find out.

We left and four years later, the girl in question missed her periods once before she panicked in her bedroom along with her boyfriend. I was not in that room, instead I was having the time of my life, having thwarted the belief. How? Well, the friend I had visited four years ago was successful in his academics, his sister still sits alone watching Ryan Gosling flicks a whole week, at least once a month, depending upon the proximity of her long-distance relationship, his parents still make love and both earn a total income of few million rupees per year. Nothing was affected with our visit that day and I believe, nothing will.

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