The Internet Is Angry On Kenneth Goldsmith!

by Tejas Nair

A friend recently got back on Facebook after a brief hiatus and when I asked him the reason for the comeback, he had to say this – “A willingness to use technology rather than escaping from the prospect of technology using me.” I didn’t quite understand what he meant but I can totally relate, now that the Internet is angry on an unpopular poet/conceptual artist.

The guy who goes by the name Kenneth Goldsmith wants to print out the entire internet and stack it up in 500 square meters of space. And he wants our help – to print anything that we love – a blog, a Google search result page, your ex-girlfriend’s Facebook profile or maybe her pet’s Twitter and send it to the address posted in his blog. Anything. But, don’t get your spirits high, as this is for another useless cause – an exhibition for the LABOR gallery in Mexico City, intended to honor hacker/activist Aaron Swartz. How cool is that! Wasting tonnes of pages to prove a rather political point? Yes, they promise everything will be recycled later, but… why print them in the first place?

The Internet loves Aaron. When he left us few months ago, every single article about him went viral, not because he was young, but because he fought for the freedom, Internet freedom. I don’t understand how printing  the entire Internet marks his point. I may be mad or skeptical, but the Internet cannot be wrong, mostly because, it is not just a service now. It has grown into one of us. Here’s what it had to say after the decision to rip its privacy off, was channelized. Unlike the popular belief, the Internet talks with edible grammar and writes longhand:

This is madness! And I am not referring to that messenger from the hugely pirated movie, 300. Printing out every bit of me will not be a tribute to my son, Aaron Swartz. He was a darling and darlings don’t stay for too long. My Wikipedia will help you with the history. It is just not the users of ever-changing Facebook that need to check over their privacy settings every now and then, but even I have somethings dearer to me like the secret of Bermuda Triangle, Farrah Abraham‘s sex tape, classified blueprint of Area 51 and all the recordings of conversations between people involved in the recent IPL spot-fixing scandal (and that includes N Srinivasan, too) to name a few. How do you think Bradley Manning got caught?

You just cannot evade my privacy over the thought of saving me. It seems so ironic. Over that, you cannot possibly print me because as per TechHive, it will take you 4.73 billion pages to print me end to end and you humans just can’t find enough forests for that. Most of them are a part of me now and it might come as a surprise to you, I have planted more trees than your local politician has, through online campaigns. You just don’t care about the consequences. Everything is spur-of-the-moment for you and that is what I hate. This is  surely a campaign, but wrong one.

Your parents have always despised me. So has SOPA, but when it comes to protecting my privacy, you just loll around with illogical campaigns instead of following what pioneers have dauntlessly carried out over the years. I have given you so much. I have always adored Julian Assange, but you see I am an atheist and everything seems complex and easy at the same time. To end this, I am just red over this stupidity. I still can’t figure out the concerns supporting this. But, I am relieved that I do have huge fan following. Their comments will get me a sound sleep tonight. Remember, it was me who gave you the latest CAM copy of another M Night Shyamalan experiment. XOXO!

Some open comments on the roll:
1. “So an activist wants to cut down a forest to make an abstract political point?”
2. “This guy is obviously a few gigabytes shy of a functioning hard drive.”

Well, the idea is wicked and the Internet is trying hard to convince its users to protest. To conclude, let us just NOT pay heed to this madness and carry on with our work. We have many other important things to do. BTW, did you see that “Russian Terminator” Soldier getting a bullet out of his forehead with a pliers? YouTube it and thank the Internet!

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